From 1929-2016, The Tallassee Tribune featured a weekly column called “Dirty Digs.” This week, the style of this space reflects how Mr. Eubanks and Mr. Cottle might have covered some recent news.

It ended with a whimper and not a bang, but last week Robert E. Lee defeated Sidney Lanier 21-0 in front of a nearly empty, socially distanced Cramton Bowl in Montgomery. Once the greatest football rivalry in the state, other than maybe those colleges in Tuscaloosa and Auburn, a ticket was hard to come by even the summer before the season began. Both schools should have different names this time next year, however. The Montgomery County Board of Education voted to change the names of three high schools after this year, so this may have been the end of the Lee-Lanier rivalry. But what a great one it was — just ask Willie G. Moseley.

Hurricane Sally came and went last week. After Paulette, Rene, Teddy, and Vicky, Wilfred is next before we get into the Greek alphabet. The last time we had to use it was in 2005, the year of Katrina. Before that, I had to say it as fast as I could three times while the older fraternity brothers burned a match (I was pledging the fraternity). Woe be unto the pledge who couldn’t say it before the match burned out — or burned the fraternity brother’s fingers.

So many folks around here have been sick lately, and I’ve been to way too many funerals. It’s been a sad few months. The best part about people moving on, I would suppose, is they will be spared having to endure the November election.

Television producer Norman Lear became the oldest person to ever win an Emmy on Sunday night. He won for “Live in Front of a Studio Audience: All in the Family and Good Times,”

which aired on ABC last season. Lear is also the executive producer of One Day at a Time on the Pop television network. He’s only 98 years old!

Speaking of entertainment news, the No. 1 record in the land right now may be the dirtiest pop song to ever hit the charts — and that’s saying something. It doesn’t take much to shock me, because I work with teenagers! However, hip-hop star Cardi B has released a song titled an initialism that can’t be printed here (look it up if you want to know what it means). I’m all for personal expression. But, this somehow seems strange to me, in an age of female empowerment: a song glamorizing what is often used as a derogatory or profane term being held up as an example of body positivity.

We are now several weeks into the high school football season, and some colleges have already begun playing. Troy University benefitted from the early start of their season with their rout of Middle Tennessee State being broadcast on Saturday afternoon. Though Troy has been on television many times over the years, this was their debut on the mothership of ESPN channels, and it was long overdue. I’m proud of my alma mater. Now, onward to the kickoff of SEC football this weekend. Haven’t you heard?

Our guidance counselor Catherine Davis posted this to the Facebook last week, and it’s stuck with me: “they say 40 is the new 30 and 50 is the new 40, but all I know is the older I get, the more 9 p.m. is the new midnight.”

Michael Bird is a Tallassee City Schools music teacher and a weekly columnist for The Tribune.